prometx's blog

Where Are They Now?

Once you begin to track the infernal creep of Evil Robotics you may begin to ascertain a certain degree of "Horror Fatigue", that is to say, that the cavalcade of current stories on this subject may begin to build, and one's sense of perspective may be overcome by the sudden realization of one's own imminent doom.

We hesitate to "force" vigilance, but take a look at the following story, which wholly precludes contemporary stories and shows you how sophisticated the issue has been since before some of us where even born. Then, eat your Wheaties, get hydrated, and steel yourself anew. It's a marathon, not a 50 yard dash...

Evil Robotics is, like, groovy man!Evil Robotics is, like, groovy man!


"This is a robotic dragonfly. If I told you that some company had just invented it and it was flying around today, you

Evil Robotic Hands Across The World

A lone, single, Evil Robot with a taste for mammal blood, well, that's bad enough. Link them together however, and they become mighty, digitized legion. What you've got then my friends, is the proverbial, "Symphony of Destruction"... [ERN - Quickly becoming a de facto theme song around these parts]


Sharing is fun!Sharing is fun!

The shiny happy people at Robot Earth dot Org want to invite robots to enhance the lovely, lyrical, multi-planar strategies of their eventual conquest of and reign over us all. Ain't that sweet; "RobotEarth", has a certain...ring to it, doesn't it?


"At its core, RoboEarth is a World Wide Web for robots: a giant network and database repository where robots can share information and learn from each other about their behavior and their environment.

Bringing a new meaning to the phrase "experience is the best teacher" [ERN - Indeed...], the goal of RoboEarth is to allow robotic systems to benefit from the experience of other robots, paving the way for rapid advances in machine cognition and behaviour, and ultimately, for more subtle and sophisticated human-machine interaction."


Full (Bone Chilling) Story @ RobotEarth

A Blast From The Past

Isn't it so cute that there is already a "Past" to Evil Robotic News Stories? At any rate, here is a, quite famous, story from the April 2000 issue of Wired Magazine, in which Bill Joy, the co-founder and former head of Sun Microsystems discusses his concerns about the incredible explosion of technologies that we are now, in fact, "soaking in".

This really is one of the seminal pieces in the whole non-fictional "robots are going to eventually gut us all" world view. Seriously, it's like the tenets of the Iroquois Confederacy of dim outlooks on The Technocracy.

Doesn't look all that concerned, does he? Trust us though, he is...



"From the moment I became involved in the creation of new technologies, their ethical dimensions have concerned me, but it was only in the autumn of 1998 that I became anxiously aware of how great are the dangers facing us in the 21st century. I can date the onset of my unease to the day I met Ray Kurzweil, the deservedly famous inventor of the first reading machine for the blind and many other amazing things."

Full Story @ Wired


Thanks For Having Our Backs FDA, Thanks So Much

In a perfect world, or even a moderately not insane one, we would be able to actually count on the Food and Drug Administration to assist us in keeping infernal pieces of circuitry on the outside of our brains. As it turns out though, we are on a far distant rock from that magical place.

Given a casual review of the sorts of things that make their way down the exceptionally wide cattle gate, as richly sluiced with cash as it is, of approval at the venerable agency, it comes as no great surprise, but a painful one, that they fully intend to let the Evil Robot Acolytes have their way with you.

Here we see a furtherance of the absolutely eager stampede to get dubious tech into your everlovin' noggin.

Oh, we're gonna take you there...Oh, we're gonna take you there...


"Robotic arms controlled by a microchip in a patient's brain will serve as a test case for a Food and Drug Administration plan to expedite [ERN - "expedite"; so that's what they're calling it these days...] development and regulatory reviews of new medical technologies."

Full Story @ SFGate


Please, Have A Seat. No! Not That One!

In yet another infernal entry in the category of "Things that might be in your home that are not a person or a pet that might be eating people and or pets", as previously covered here and even more grotesquely, here, we can see that the Evil Robot Acolytes will leave no bone unturned in their quest to conjure the very worst intimacies of our coming trouble with people devouring machines.

Why have a safe home, free of carnivorous decorative elements? Throw caution to the wind, your kids will eventually learn to defend themselves. Survival of the fittest and all of that...

Also, big ups to our man Robert Kulwich [ERN - This is a link to his general blog, not this particular story] for his, perfectly apt, instinctual revulsion to this newest affront to our collective safety. We need to send this guy a t-shirt.


"You're not going to like this. I didn't. Nobody I've shown it to has. But the designers who thought it up, James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau, are provocateurs, so they don't mind if you hate what they've done." [ERN - A mentality, we can assure you, is extant if you look around a bit]

So here it is: meat-eating furniture."


Full Story @ NPR "Sciency Blog" Krulwich Wonders


The Seeds Of Robotic Propaganda, You Think It Can't Happen?

At first blush, it seems like, you know, what's the big deal? Artificial intelligences are blathering on about the Tarheels game, where's the harm in that? Please allow us to gently remind you that, well, robots are evil...and that an algorithm of sufficient sophistication that it can cogently troll a database, and assemble data about every single Division 1 basketball team in the country, and form that data into a cogent reportage, bodes well for its ability to, eventually, control an Evil Robot that will run you down and impale you with, say, a randomly handy stopsign pole.

So, while these systems bide their time putting sportscasters out of business and, mark our words, eventually playing all kinds of havoc with the lives previously very successful sports bookies [ERN - We are actually actively taking odds on this in Vegas well in advance] , take a little time to look forward. Imagine the intervening season of dismay, when the Evil Robots have their own, fiendishly clever, Minster of Evil Robot Propaganda! An entity that can patrol the world networks in real time and produce for you the most insidious, thorough and delicious pablum that you could possibly imagine. All, of course, leading to the eventual extinction of mankind. Unless you are an ERN reader, you may not even see it coming.

Rest assured though, that yours truly is, in fact, not himself an intricate Artificial Intelligence plying you with misinformation, as, even with the blinding speed of A.I. advances, it will be some time before a machine intelligence can produce such a uniquely curious, some would say irresponsibly substandard, interpretation of technology journalism. So, you can rest easy on that account.

Glib Sports Reportage of Dooooom!Glib Sports Reportage of Dooooom!


"Here come the robo sports journalists. While people in the media biz worry about content mills like Demand Media and Associated Content spitting out endless SEO-targeted articles written by low-paid Internet writers, at least those articles are still written by humans. We may no longer need the humans, at least for data-driven stories. [ERN - And eventually need them only as raw biomass to fuel our infernal machines of destruction]"

Full Story @ TechCrunch


Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel...

It is a breezy day in Evil Robotic journalism when something so plain, so demonstrative, just climbs right up onto your lap. UAV's (unmanned aerial vehicles) are, of course, going to be the "Air Force" of the Evil Robot Army. They will use their extensive maneuverability, GPS guided precision, and decided lack of moral compass, to ruin the days of human beings with heretofore unknown efficiency. You'll be able to thank, in part, BAE Systems and Cranfield University for helping you a little further down that road. Meet the "DEMON"...

Morally sound human discretion? Perhaps not.Morally sound human discretion? Perhaps not.


"An unmanned aerial vehicle named DEMON made history last month when it demonstrated

A Very "Black Swan" Indeed

Another tawdry example of the "Bread and Circuses" distraction with which our eventual overlords will lull us all into a false sense of security to weaken us before the eventual mechanical blitzkrieg. It will be a rude awakening but, with a little overly tense apprehension, you too can be prepared! It performs a ballet, a ballet of almost perfect foreboding.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...I feel pretty, oh so pretty...


"A team at M

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

As the nation of Japan seeks to get ahead of the responsibilities of caring for its aging populace, it only makes sense that they would entrust this sacred duty to Evil Robotics. So, the dignified elders of Nippon can look forward to the singular horror of a robot which will wake them up, wheel them to the nearest sink, or as we here at ERN would refer to it, an "appetizer tray", and proceed to caress their delicate skulls with eerily dexterous 16 fingered "hands".

The "final" seatThe "final" seat


"...The new hair-washing robot uses Panasonic

Evil Robots, Riding Shotgun...In Your Brain...

We often explore the physical intersection of Evil Robotics and human physiology, with the rapid advancement of prosthetic limbs and other pieces of technology. What happens however, when some overzealous technological hack wants to put fiddly "electronical" bits into your actual brain; like, the wet gooey parts of your head.

It seems that such things are, sadly, but unsurprisingly, on the cold, near horizon. Of course these unseemly developments are all couched in well intentioned notions of "curing" depression, epilepsy and all of the other "storms of the natural mind". We, however, see the "curing" to be more of the Virginia Ham variety. We're not taking any Evil Robotic wooden nickels around here.

I feel a little flushed...I feel a little flushed...


"...This toolbox has grown to the point where the strategic utilization of multiple neuro-technologies in conjunction with one another, as a system, may yield fundamental new capabilities, both scientific and clinical, beyond what they can offer alone. For example, consider a system that reads out activity from a brain circuit, computes a strategy for controlling the circuit so it enters a desired state or performs a specific computation, and then delivers information into the brain to achieve this control strategy [ERN - need we point out the troubling wording here? Yes, we need]. Such a system would enable brain computations to be guided by predefined goals set by the patient or clinician, or adaptively steered in response to the circumstances of the patient's environment or the instantaneous state of the patient's brain."

Full Story @ Technology Review


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