The Heady Joys Of Stockholm Syndrome...

There will be many complex psychological twists and turns in the dim labyrinth of Evil Robot domination. As humankind has learned in its own continuing struggle against it's more violent instincts, one of the most insidious of these warped states of mind is Stockholm Syndrome.

Many of us in the modern technological "West" (people in some parts of the world suffer under no such delusion) mistake the current lack of entrail-chewing, bomb-lobbing evil robots in our streets today, for some sort of expectation of continuing safety. When, in fact, the imminent possibility that they may arrive far sooner than you might think, is the real state of affairs.

Thus, we have the problem of the more naive of us in this Cybernetic Armageddon, actually adorning themselves and, rather lovingly, appointing their own bodies with the likenesses of the bringers of our ultimate ruin.

We here at ERN, well, we hang our heads low when we see our brothers and sisters give themselves over in ignorance to the craven machine. Please check out this story as we take a moment to openly weep.


Get thee to the laser removal parlor!Get thee to the laser removal parlor!


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"Robots are intrinsically fascinating, especially now that we almost have the technological capability to create what once was only a science fiction fan

How Evil Robots Affect Geopolitics Abroad And, Of Course, Soon, "On The Ground", Near You...

This audio snippet exhibits just a smidgen of the effects that you will soon be able to expect as, and trust us on this, the Evil Robot chickens "come home to roost..."

This is an excerpt from an alarmingly cogent report from Amy Goodman of the Democracy Now radio program. If, perchance, you are suspicious about the conjectured "Left Leaning" nature of our source, remember dear, dear Homo-Sapiens; it is not about right or left, but about right and wrong, and, as we can heartily assure you, in every conceivable analysis, Evil Robots are very, very wrong...

She knows the side of the bread on which her "guns and butter" are spread...

Carnegie Mellon University To Corrupt "New Eden"

Now, many people would take radical exception to the portrayal of the current state of the world as a "New Eden". If you had the perceptual rigor though, that we habitually employ here at ERN, to foresee the imminent instantiation of robotic doom over us all, you would agree that these are, in fact, "The Salad Days".

In an epic stroke of symbolism, the anti-human curmudgeons at the CMU Biorobotics Lab have created a more advanced version of the previously reported "serpent-bot" that, prepare to cringe, climbs trees and swims.

If you've ever encountered a natural tree-dwelling snake, that's already pretty eerie. Seeing this monocular horror staring down at you from the boughs though, is enough to separate you from your sanity and no doubt, eventually, your life. Bravo CMU, bravo...

How's about an apple? You monkeys like apples, don't you?How's about an apple? You monkeys like apples, don't you?


"Snake robots can use their many internal degrees of freedom to thread through tightly packed volumes accessing locations that people and machinery otherwise cannot use.

"Nano-Spiders", Doesn't That Just About Say It All?

In our, what should by now be blatantly, obvious concern for large, bloodthirsty, "macroscopic" Evil Robots, let us not leave our rear guards down and ignore the inherent threat of the very, very, small.

Increasing research in nanotechnology makes it plain that, not only will you be ravaged by the new-fangled creations of the dark priests and priestesses of the Evil Robot Overlords, but that you may not even notice, that is until they handily liquefy your internal organs...


The eensy weensy spider climbed up your gastric tract...The eensy weensy spider climbed up your gastric tract...

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"Scientists have created microscopic robots out of DNA molecules that can walk, turn and even create tiny products of their own on a nano-scale assembly line.

The ground-breaking devices outlined in the journal Nature, could one day lead to armies of surgeon robots that could clean human arteries or build computer components. [Or, as aforementioned, quickly turn you into a bloody smattering of goo... -ERN]

In one of the projects a team from New York's Columbia University created a spider bot just four nanometers across. This is about 100,000 times smaller than the diameter of a human hair."

It Thinks, Therefore It Is...

We bring you, through much wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth, another eerie foreshadowing of what we might all call, "our doom". In the, no doubt underground, Evil Robot research facilities of Japan and Michigan Technological University a new dark awareness is beginning to take shape.

One step closer toward the intrinsic awareness of Evil Robots. It is one thing to be tracked, hunted, and eviscerated by an automaton at your company picnic, or Bat Mitzvah, but consider the folly of giving these creatures thought with which to harrow you down. In no time at all it'll be an [Evil] "Bot" Mitzvah. Stand ready humankind, stand ready!

Looking:  Longingly at your JugularLooking: Longingly at your Jugular


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"Researchers from Japan and the Michigan Technological University have succeeded in building a molecular computer that, more than any previous project of its kind, can replicate the inner mechanisms of the human brain, repairing itself and mimicking the massive parallelism that allows our brains to process information like no silicon-based computer can."


Full Story @ Gizmag

German Researchers Display Heroic Levels Of Foolishness, Manage To Survive...This Encounter At Least...

Now...there are so many cautions, admonitions, and tails of potential regret rolled into this brief, but terrifying, report, we wouldn't even know where to begin; beyond this ultra naive belief in the neutrality of Evil Robots.

Really? I mean, Really!?

If this is the kind of attitude we're approaching this with, the conclusion is pretty much forgone, we can assure you. Can we not see the Evil Robot writing on the wall?

"Their" proposed outcomes:



"Our" proposed outcomes:



You be the judge...

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"The idea of a robot in the kitchen cooking us meals sounds great ( Does it now? - Fools! ) . We better just watch out for that swinging knife ( Ya think!? ).

Evil Robots Soon To Have Ability To Savor "Silky Mouth-Feel" of Human Flesh

Here at ERN we frequently have the opportunity to preview "The Fall" from all sorts of horrifying perspectives. The ironic terrors of the dark mimicry of ourselves, sourly reflected in the form of infernal machines. This, though, has got to be considered a "piss-taker".

What would it benefit an Evil Robot to gain the whole world, without being able to frighten the buh-jeezus out of everyone with a victory speech from its creepy rubber lip units?

You better recognize...

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Monstrous, Mountain Climbing, Sport Coupe, Seeks A World Without Squishy Humans

Riddle me this, weak biological unit, if this jazzy little number can find the summit of Pike's Peak, what is preventing it from finding, say, the nursery of your quiet little suburban home? The question is, of course, rhetorical. To arms!

How fast can you run the fifty?How fast can you run the fifty?

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"Forget the Darpa

In Former Soviet Union, Robot Power Loader Drives You!

Eerie is as eerie does, I suppose, as aptly demonstrated by our "friends" at Activelink. As you can see, the development of skull crushing pincers is coming along, at pace. So, if mankind thought, "But how will the Evil Robot Army manage to pop my noggin' like an overripe grape?", our grisly answer is forthcoming...

I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle here are my deadly crushing pincers!I'm a little teapot short and stout, here is my handle here are my deadly crushing pincers!

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While Cyberdyne plans to outfit our military personnel in exosuits straight out of Iron Man, Activelink draws its exosuit inspiration from Aliens, creating an actual Power Loader that's nearly ready for Ripley.

Parents, If This Evil Robot Dog Follows Your Little Ones Home Please Tell Them, "No, you can't keep it."

An army, even an Evil Robot Army, eventually, gets tired of carrying around all of the ammunition, fuel cells, grievous bio-weapons, razor-shackles, portable abattoirs, etc. that they will need to accomplish their appointed tasks, in this case, the obliteration of all extant human life.

To that end, Evil Robot emissaries, Boston Dynamics, in conjunction with the delightfully maniacal High Priests of Evil Robot Mammon at DARPA have proceeded to fill this gory niche in the Evil Robot chain of command. If conquering humankind sheerly by giving it the creeps could be worthy of some sort of award, these guys would, clearly, be the front-runners in any such contest.


Awwww, ain't that cute?Awwww, ain't that cute?


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