Thanks For Having Our Backs FDA, Thanks So Much

In a perfect world, or even a moderately not insane one, we would be able to actually count on the Food and Drug Administration to assist us in keeping infernal pieces of circuitry on the outside of our brains. As it turns out though, we are on a far distant rock from that magical place.

Given a casual review of the sorts of things that make their way down the exceptionally wide cattle gate, as richly sluiced with cash as it is, of approval at the venerable agency, it comes as no great surprise, but a painful one, that they fully intend to let the Evil Robot Acolytes have their way with you.

Here we see a furtherance of the absolutely eager stampede to get dubious tech into your everlovin' noggin.

Oh, we're gonna take you there...Oh, we're gonna take you there...

"Robotic arms controlled by a microchip in a patient's brain will serve as a test case for a Food and Drug Administration plan to expedite [ERN - "expedite"; so that's what they're calling it these days...] development and regulatory reviews of new medical technologies."

Full Story @ SFGate

Please, Have A Seat. No! Not That One!

In yet another infernal entry in the category of "Things that might be in your home that are not a person or a pet that might be eating people and or pets", as previously covered here and even more grotesquely, here, we can see that the Evil Robot Acolytes will leave no bone unturned in their quest to conjure the very worst intimacies of our coming trouble with people devouring machines.

Why have a safe home, free of carnivorous decorative elements? Throw caution to the wind, your kids will eventually learn to defend themselves. Survival of the fittest and all of that...

Also, big ups to our man Robert Kulwich [ERN - This is a link to his general blog, not this particular story] for his, perfectly apt, instinctual revulsion to this newest affront to our collective safety. We need to send this guy a t-shirt.

"You're not going to like this. I didn't. Nobody I've shown it to has. But the designers who thought it up, James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau, are provocateurs, so they don't mind if you hate what they've done." [ERN - A mentality, we can assure you, is extant if you look around a bit]

So here it is: meat-eating furniture."

Full Story @ NPR "Sciency Blog" Krulwich Wonders

The Seeds Of Robotic Propaganda, You Think It Can't Happen?

At first blush, it seems like, you know, what's the big deal? Artificial intelligences are blathering on about the Tarheels game, where's the harm in that? Please allow us to gently remind you that, well, robots are evil...and that an algorithm of sufficient sophistication that it can cogently troll a database, and assemble data about every single Division 1 basketball team in the country, and form that data into a cogent reportage, bodes well for its ability to, eventually, control an Evil Robot that will run you down and impale you with, say, a randomly handy stopsign pole.

So, while these systems bide their time putting sportscasters out of business and, mark our words, eventually playing all kinds of havoc with the lives previously very successful sports bookies [ERN - We are actually actively taking odds on this in Vegas well in advance] , take a little time to look forward. Imagine the intervening season of dismay, when the Evil Robots have their own, fiendishly clever, Minster of Evil Robot Propaganda! An entity that can patrol the world networks in real time and produce for you the most insidious, thorough and delicious pablum that you could possibly imagine. All, of course, leading to the eventual extinction of mankind. Unless you are an ERN reader, you may not even see it coming.

Rest assured though, that yours truly is, in fact, not himself an intricate Artificial Intelligence plying you with misinformation, as, even with the blinding speed of A.I. advances, it will be some time before a machine intelligence can produce such a uniquely curious, some would say irresponsibly substandard, interpretation of technology journalism. So, you can rest easy on that account.

Glib Sports Reportage of Dooooom!Glib Sports Reportage of Dooooom!

"Here come the robo sports journalists. While people in the media biz worry about content mills like Demand Media and Associated Content spitting out endless SEO-targeted articles written by low-paid Internet writers, at least those articles are still written by humans. We may no longer need the humans, at least for data-driven stories. [ERN - And eventually need them only as raw biomass to fuel our infernal machines of destruction]"

Full Story @ TechCrunch

Like Shooting Fish In A Barrel...

It is a breezy day in Evil Robotic journalism when something so plain, so demonstrative, just climbs right up onto your lap. UAV's (unmanned aerial vehicles) are, of course, going to be the "Air Force" of the Evil Robot Army. They will use their extensive maneuverability, GPS guided precision, and decided lack of moral compass, to ruin the days of human beings with heretofore unknown efficiency. You'll be able to thank, in part, BAE Systems and Cranfield University for helping you a little further down that road. Meet the "DEMON"...

Morally sound human discretion? Perhaps not.Morally sound human discretion? Perhaps not.

"An unmanned aerial vehicle named DEMON made history last month when it demonstrated

A Very "Black Swan" Indeed

Another tawdry example of the "Bread and Circuses" distraction with which our eventual overlords will lull us all into a false sense of security to weaken us before the eventual mechanical blitzkrieg. It will be a rude awakening but, with a little overly tense apprehension, you too can be prepared! It performs a ballet, a ballet of almost perfect foreboding.

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...I feel pretty, oh so pretty...

"A team at M

Lather, Rinse, Repeat

As the nation of Japan seeks to get ahead of the responsibilities of caring for its aging populace, it only makes sense that they would entrust this sacred duty to Evil Robotics. So, the dignified elders of Nippon can look forward to the singular horror of a robot which will wake them up, wheel them to the nearest sink, or as we here at ERN would refer to it, an "appetizer tray", and proceed to caress their delicate skulls with eerily dexterous 16 fingered "hands".

The "final" seatThe "final" seat

"...The new hair-washing robot uses Panasonic

Evil Robots, Riding Shotgun...In Your Brain...

We often explore the physical intersection of Evil Robotics and human physiology, with the rapid advancement of prosthetic limbs and other pieces of technology. What happens however, when some overzealous technological hack wants to put fiddly "electronical" bits into your actual brain; like, the wet gooey parts of your head.

It seems that such things are, sadly, but unsurprisingly, on the cold, near horizon. Of course these unseemly developments are all couched in well intentioned notions of "curing" depression, epilepsy and all of the other "storms of the natural mind". We, however, see the "curing" to be more of the Virginia Ham variety. We're not taking any Evil Robotic wooden nickels around here.

I feel a little flushed...I feel a little flushed...

"...This toolbox has grown to the point where the strategic utilization of multiple neuro-technologies in conjunction with one another, as a system, may yield fundamental new capabilities, both scientific and clinical, beyond what they can offer alone. For example, consider a system that reads out activity from a brain circuit, computes a strategy for controlling the circuit so it enters a desired state or performs a specific computation, and then delivers information into the brain to achieve this control strategy [ERN - need we point out the troubling wording here? Yes, we need]. Such a system would enable brain computations to be guided by predefined goals set by the patient or clinician, or adaptively steered in response to the circumstances of the patient's environment or the instantaneous state of the patient's brain."

Full Story @ Technology Review

Evil Robotic Health Care - The Boss Is Robotic, And Rolling Up Behind You

In all of our recent societal discussions on health care, we've explored so many avenues. The rising costs of care, the methods of distribution of insurance coverage, and many other facets of this admittedly complex issue.

All of these crucial concerns can sometimes obscure the more fundamental issue, which is the introduction of Evil Robots into our hospitals, an exquisite area of human vulnerability. As elite physicians yield even more of their already spare and specious bedside manners to the cold, cold clutches of these heartless automatons.

Once the Evil Robots have established this beachhead at the sickbed, how long before one your loved ones gets a few too many cc's of morphine from one of these invaders?!

Here, hold my cold, cold "hand"Here, hold my cold, cold "hand"


Little Computer Shares It's Problems With Network, You

Once we - and we will - begin to merge bodily with the machines the possibility, well, inevitability, that we will begin to share their supposed benefits , as well as their shortcomings, will become increasingly apparent. What happens when the natural challenges that the individual human normally entertains are compounded with the bugs/errors/hacks/viruses of the network and vice versa?

Well, some of our bolder friends at Reading University U.K. are ready to dip a misguided toe into the pool, you know, to see how the water is...

Ouch, that hurts! [not nearly as much as it's going to hurt]Ouch, that hurts! [not nearly as much as it's going to hurt]

"A researcher from the UK's University of Reading has warned of possible future infection issues for recipients of medical implants. The cause for concern is not biological, though. Dr. Mark Gasson's disquiet relates to the fact that as implants become more sophisticated, the computerized systems running them could become prone to virus attack. And to prove his point, the good doctor purposely infected a chip implanted in his hand with a virus, which subsequently spread to an external communication system."

The Squirming Twists And Turns Of "The Uncanny Valley"

The diabolical twin approaches of the creation of Evil Robots are, the infernal foundries of their hardware and the dark sorcery of the creation of their software, the dark seed and the bitter egg that will come together to birth horrible, horrible things.

This is a strong cautionary tale from both the software and hardware sides of the equation. The naive worker bees, who work slavishly to imitate the natural in games, animated films, other digital media and with machines that seek to simulate humankind, have themselves come to realize the unsettling feeling that what they are doing brings about, even to them, the creeping feeling of unease that we will all come to feel, and all too soon.

Listen to this interview [ hit the "Read More" link at the base of the post ] from "On the Media". Feel the fear in the voices of the minions of the Evil Robot Overlords, as they recognize the folly of their own creations!

My Evil Robot twin...which I made...for "fun"...My Evil Robot twin...which I made...for "fun"...


"For the animators of films and video games, creating a truly human looking and acting character has long been the holy grail. But making characters close-to-real and yet not-real-enough leaves them in what's called the 'uncanny valley' where audiences find those characters unsettling, unnatural and zombie-like [ a.k.a. The "Self Preservation Instinct" - ERN ]. OTM producer Jamie York looks at how the entertainment industry has dealt with this issue and what the 'uncanny valley' tells us about ourselves and our future."

The "business end" of The Uncanny ValleyThe "business end" of The Uncanny Valley

Full Story @ On The Media


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