Global (Evil Robot) Future 2045

Some of our best Evil Robot minds gathered in Moscow recently to have a few cognacs and discuss how they can wrap the coming of our Evil Robot Overlords in a candy-like coating that will go down much more easily than, say, an artificially intelligent titanium pincer...

These good people of science and culture will be dotting the "i's" and crossing the "t's" on the entire future of mankind. Will their utopic visions of the union of mankind and machine come off without a hitch, as they floridly portray in the following video? It is a "Wooden Nickel" of almost unimaginable proportion, in our humble opinion. Have a listen though, to this grave "English Gentleman" as he explains how it's "all gonna go down" (way down, we would guess), ab-solute elitist rot; it would be embarrassing to witness really, if it weren't so imminently focused on our collective eradication:


"The Global Future 2045 Congress is a nonprofit organization with the goal of creating a network community with the world

And We'll All Go Down Together...

It's no secret, not around here at least, that some folk embrace the rapid development of technology less as a tool to enrich the human experience, and more as a crude bludgeon with which to beat meaty beasts into more broken forms, more to their liking. It becomes more and more clear that some Technocrats will say the darndest things, outright anti-human things, without a self-reflecting thought on their own humanity. This begs the question, "Exactly who do the Technocrats think they are?", well, not you or I, seems to be their rhetorical answer. Time will tell we suppose.

Let's take for instance this story about a Science Fiction author, who believes it would be better if we could organize this whole messy, entropic, "biology-thing" into more orderly "columns and rows", of the sort that you might enter into the ultra-fast database of an Evil Robot...

Did you feel that?Did you feel that?


"Would you barcode your baby?

Microchip implants have become standard practice for our pets, but have been a tougher sell when it comes to the idea of putting them in people.

Science fiction author Elizabeth Moon last week rekindled the debate on whether it's a good idea to "barcode" infants at birth in an interview on a BBC radio program.

Like Sands Through The Hourglass, So Are The Days Of Our Evil Robot Lives...

Here is a gritty tip from our ERN Pelham Bay correspondent, Snackwrap, who rarely misses a beat, or a Snackwrap for that matter. This concerns the highly suspicious development of a self-organizing "sand" made of cooperative robot "grains", which it seems will get very deep indeed into the folds of your swimwear before long.

It is an aspect of Evil Robotics that we regularly explore. That being the idea that, at this point, we operate under "the buddy system" of Evil Robotics. Every Evil Robot that is constructed currently, to the best of our knowledge, [ERN - Though we suspect much goes on beyond the scope of our extant knowledge] must currently have an Evil Robot "midwife", to birth its horrors into the world; a craven nanny, to shepard it toward its eventual human-consuming effectiveness.

Well, those halcyon days are clearly numbered, and soon, no sandbox, no beach, no portion of the floors of the world's myriad oceans and seas, will be free of the grainy scourge of self-replicating machines. We can, of course, thank one of the most capable arms of The Legion of Evil Robot Profundity (LERP) at the MIT Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory (CSAIL), for this new dimension in the coming disaster.

What new forms will they take, what nascent wonders will they extol? Well, be certain that they will eventually become what you would least like to see around you, and your kids. Keen your edge!

Dainty cubes of awful forebodingDainty cubes of awful foreboding


"MIT robotics researchers say such a magical sandbox could be no more than a decade away. A team from the school's Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory says they've developed algorithms that could enable "smart sand" - essentially miniscule, simple robots that would communicate with each other about how to align together properly once they've been given a model to copy.

The team has already done limited testing with larger cubes - 10 millimeters wide with rudimentary microprocessors inside and magnets on four of their sides. The "robot pebble's" magnets are used not just to connect, but to communicate with each other and share power.
"The 'robot pebbles' are not going to turn into true 'smart sand' overnight - but it will happen ...," said Kyle Gilpin, a graduate student working on the project."


Full Story @ CNN: What's Next [ERN - Well, we'd tell you "What's Next", but you know what time it is...]

The Obsolete Man

One of the great ironies of the coming world of the Evil Robots is, that they will not spring forward from the proverbial head of Zeus, fully formed and combat ready, but that it is we who will bring their ruin on ourselves.

The hubris of mankind is well known and it comes as no surprise that the heavier portion of our problems are self-made, created by our want for things that are beyond our simpler needs. There is little doubt that it is the overreaching mood of today's society, as reflected in the following clip, that will no doubt nurture our fall. So, let's revisit for a moment, a notion once brought to us by a no-nonsense, All-American, true grit gentleman of Anti-Evil-Robot Philosophy; Mr. Rod Serling.

The Obsolete Man is coming, or rather going, and he is us...



NOTE That the current rites, and those unto the end of civilization as we know it, for The Twilight Zone, and its associated properties are firmly in the hands of CBS Entertainment

A Plain Revelation, And A Fearful Symmetry

This story is one of those "Crossing the Rubicon" moments in the coming conflagration of piston-on-meat violence that will be the dark legacy that we leave to our progeny, should any indeed survive.

Another curious facet of this imminently dark crystal is, that this is not even an actual news story, per se, this is, rather, the actual instantiation of a piece of commercial advertising. That is to say, this is not a notional, dubiously subjective, or journalistic interpretation of the dangers of Evil Robots, not hardly, this is an actual, planned, produced and released piece of public advertising by a corporation with worldwide scope, flatly, introducing you to the seeds of your own demise; set to music...

If you are not responding with the requisite sense of horror, let us reemphasize one of the crucial points of strategy surrounding the Evil Robot overthrow of human kind. We cannot stress this point enough, it is fundamental, and it is this:

The single greatest edge we have over the Evil Robots, is their nominal dependency on human beings for construction and repair. This is our "leash", if you will. Once they can construct and repair themselves, you have just suffered an absolute strategic landslide in favor of the enemy. In this case, a tireless and hyper-accurate one, of nearly limitless endurance and similarly Herculean power. And what, you may ask, will happen once the Rottweiler of Evil Robot conquest gets off of the proverbial chain? Well, it is difficult to say, but only because it is also too terrible to imagine!

Signs and wonders, signs and wonders...



[ERN - NOTE: "Built For The 'Human' Network"; indeed...]


Also, not cool Gary Numan, not cool...

"Washing The Delicates"

There is little doubt, that as we approach, what some would term as "The Singularity" [ERN - We here, refer to it as "The Duplicity"] that there will be a, rather embarrassing, concurrent, "singularity" approaching you personally, somewhere in the region of your pants.

This will be a particularly nefarious point of strategic approach by the Evil Robots, and all thoughtful persons should take heed. Just as genuine carnal fallibility has been a well understood historical weakness of humankind, so will the insidious plethora of artificial carnality be, an immense, stumbling block to the proper perception of robots as being appropriately thought of as evil.

So, when you have your first opportunity to wedge your fiddly bits into some new, shiny and, no doubt, darkly, sentient machine, or vice versa, we caution you to gird your loins and resist! There is no telling, positively, no telling what that contraption is going to do to your wholesome man, and or, lady parts.

Don't say that we never tried to do anything nice for you...





"The year is 2050 and a group of men are heading to a brothel in Amsterdam

Full Story @ The Mail Online

What you can expect 1.1

As the sense of "normality" that Evil Robots are supposed to come to possess within society is foisted upon the supple folds of your brain and seeps, like so much bitter machine oil, into your delicate and susceptible unconscious, consider this: regardless of the slippery and perfumed propaganda that is offered up to you regarding them; Robots, ummmmm yeah, are EVIL...

This, rather toungue-in-cheek video promoting the upcoming film Prometheus, gives a glimpse into the labyrinthine avenues of psychological dischord that the inception of human simulacra will soon bring into your day-to-day life; regrettably, for the worse, we predict.

Take note!




It should go without saying, that this video, it's contents and associated intellectual properties are the fully owned assets of 20th Century Fox, their partners, associates, subsidiares, arms, tenticles, et cetera, et cetera...as described in the finer print, here

Creepy Is As Creepy Does, So They Say...

An exceprt on the subject of "surprise" from the Online Etymology Dictionary:

"surprise (n.)

late 14c., "unexpected attack or capture," from M.Fr. surprise "a taking unawares," from noun use of pp. of O.Fr. surprendre "to overtake," from sur- "over" (see sur-) + prendre "to take," from L. prendere, contracted from prehendere "to grasp, seize" (see prehensile). Meaning "something unexpected" first recorded 1590s, that of "feeling caused by something unexpected" is c.1600. Meaning "fancy dish" is attested from 1708.

A Surprize is ... a dish ... which promising little from its first appearance, when open abounds with all sorts of variety. [ERN - Indeed...] [W. King, "Cookery," 1708]

The verb is from late 14c. Surprise party originally was a military detachment (1841); festive sense is attested from 1858. Related: Surprising. "

This report definitely encompasses all of the most unwelcome connotations of the above. Our good friends at Boston Dynamics have an especially delicious "amuse bouche" for us all in the incarnation of PETMAN. Behold, be frightened and, if you're not able to compose yourself, it is alright to weep. We've certainly had a good cry or two over this one.

That's one small step for PETMAN, a giant leap for Evil Robot Kind...



" PETMAN is an anthropomorphic robot developed by Boston Dynamics for testing special clothing used by US military personnel [ERN - If you buy that this is truly its intended purpose, please contact us immediately regarding some shady real estate deals we have to offer you, you're just our type...] . PETMAN balances itself as it walks, squats and does calisthenics. PETMAN simulates human physiology by controlling temperature, humidity and sweating inside the clothing to provide realistic test conditions. PETMAN development is lead by Boston Dynamics, working in partnership with Measurement Technologies Northwest, Oak Ridge National Lab and MRIGlobal. The work is being done for the DoD CBDP. For more information about PETMAN visit us at www.BostonDynamics.com. "


A, rather, redirected version of the "Full Story" @ Technological Future

Truth Is, Indeed, Stranger Than Fiction

This is a story pregnant with transition, which is to say, a story of you sliding down a frictionless slippery slope into the gaping maw of Evil Robot Doom. Today, the project referenced below, is just the soldier's "little buddy", doing the "dirty work". Tomorrow, little buddy will have left the proverbial nest, the nest that is the source of all human morality and discernment, and will be operating with impunity and cruel discernment at and around your, heretofore monster-less, locale.

DARPA (a.k.a. Evil Robot Nursery) plans to give you all that you can handle along these lines; like drinking from a fire hydrant of unrelenting gore and disbelief.

In the coming days of horror and regret, surely you're not going to have the gall to deny that we warned you...


Get some!Get some!

"...According to the agency, "the Avatar program will develop interfaces and algorithms to enable a soldier to effectively partner with a semi-autonomous bi-pedal machine and allow it to act as the soldier's surrogate."

These robots should be smart and agile enough to do the dirty work of war, Darpa notes. That includes the "room clearing, sentry control [and] combat casualty recovery." And all at the bidding of their human partner. [ERN - But of course! What could possibly go wrong...]"


Full Story @ io9

It's All Fun And Games, Until Somebody['s Brain] Gets Hurt

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't extract biologically viable brain cells from your friend's brain, culture them, and use them as a neural network to control an operationally adaptive Evil Robot, now can you?

There are however many of the staff of University of Reading UK, Cybernetics Research Group, who can, and are actually hell bent for leather on the whole issue. This is actually a delightful treatise on rat brain co-option, though we expect that you can read the writing (hastliy scrawled in human blood) on the wall with this one, can you not?

If this doesn't give you the absolutely creeping heebie-jeebies, you need to head on down to the Soul Station and top off your tank...


"...Led by divisive part-human cyberneticist Kevin Warwick, the scientists extracted brain cells from the rats, cultured them, and then used them as a guidance control circuit. Electrical impulses go in, and the responses that come out then drive the device's wheels. The cells are living -- they can form new connections -- meaning that the robots can learn. "


Full Story @ Wired.co.uk (Pip, Pip, Cheerio!)

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