What if your robot isn't evil, but the person who hacks it is?

We designate an ERN Robot-Watch Award, the first, for the University of Washington for raising the banner on concerns for current and future robot security. In another "told-you-so" moment in Evil Robot Science, A recent study by Computer Science & Engineering Students locates crucial holes in the security protocols of common household robots.

What will you do when you come home one day and your cute little Scooba Robot is cleaning your kitchen floor not with bleach solution, but fresh human plasma!?


Diligently taking instructions, but from whom !?Diligently taking instructions, but from whom !?


Full Report at University of Washington Research

The Secret Life of Evil Robot Bees

Ivy League Evil-Robotics seems to be buzzing along nicely, as Harvard researchers do their best to emulate an insect who has had all too many setbacks of late. Yet another effort by the acolytes of destruction to manufacture the bitter honey of discord!

"Harvard researchers recently got a $10 million grant to create a colony of flying robotic bees, or RoboBees to among other things, spur innovation in ultra-low-power computing and electronic "smart" sensors; and refine coordination algorithms to manage multiple, independent machines."

"The RoboBee scientists will create robotic bees that fly autonomously and coordinate activities amongst themselves and the hive, much like real bees. They anticipate the devices will open up a wide range of discoveries and practical innovations, advancing fields ranging from entomology and developmental biology to amorphous computing and electrical engineering, the researchers stated."


Flight of the Evil Robotic Bumble BeeFlight of the Evil Robotic Bumble Bee



Full Story at Network World

Eye-Robot

In the transition period between the quaint bucolic past and the bleak robot infested future there will, of course, be an intervening season of confusion. A time when human beings will feel safe in co-opting the technologies of their future robot oppressors, taking bits and pieces of the materials and technologies of robot science and using them to augment their own minds and bodies. Hey, it worked for Steve Austin right?

"There are sportswear firms offering bespoke trainers and funeral companies that sell personalised coffins, but this latest extension of Savile Row principles may shock even the staunchest devotees of mass customisation.

Laser eye surgeons are now offering tailor-made corneas. Two decades after the first laser eye treatment in Britain, in November 1989, the quest for perfect vision has been replaced, in many cases, by eyesight tailored to an individual

Nature, Nurture or...Evil Robot Science?

Some things are created whole by nature itself in synchrony with the delicate interplay of time and the myriad forces of the universe working in minute confluence. Other things have their origin in nature, but bear that dark element of broken desire and wanton design of our local species of hyper-intelligent ape.

On the horizon however we see the probability that the neighborhood super-ape is wresting the blueprints of nature out of their timeless moorings and using these elegant designs for its own twisted, ill-advised, ape-devised Evil Robot purposes!

Oh, naughty, naughty ape!

"A LOCUST flight simulator could be the key to perfecting the ultimate surveillance machine: an artificial flying insect. The simulator can model the way wings of varying shapes and surface features beat, as well as how they change their shape during flight."

Another casuality of The Evil Robot Overlords!Another casuality of The Evil Robot Overlords!



Full Story at New Scientist

AWOL Robot Aircraft Throws Down The Gauntlet

In another serious shot across the bow, a member of the Evil Robot Air Force goes "off mission" in Afghanistan, provoking a deadly response from the puny humans. The U.S. Air Force claims to not know the reason for the loss of control of this $53.3 Million Dollar Mistake, but we, the faithful, we know what time it is. Am I right?

"The USAF does not know how or why operators lost control of the MQ-9 Reaper Unmanned Aircraft System. "We do not speculate on the cause of an aircraft mishap," [ Yeah, Evil Robotic Strike Force Aircraft goes off the reservation and you "don't speculate"; that's the kind of strategic shortcoming humans cannot afford in the coming Robot Wars. They're playin' you dude! - ERN] Captain Frank Hartnett, a spokesman for the Air Force, told Security Management. An investigation, however, will be conducted to find an answer, he said.

The Reaper was flying a combat mission when operators lost "positive control" of the UAV, or the ability to establish connections and send control inputs to the remote-controlled aircraft. When operators noticed the UAV was bound to exit Afghani airspace and all efforts to reestablish communication with the machine failed, the Air Force deployed an F-15E Strike Eagle to destroy it."

The mouldering bio-bot invasion

You're prepared, right? You are studiously building your own electromagetic pulse weapons and have a primed and well polished plasma cutter ready for the eventual Evil Robot Revolt.

Well, here is another turn in the cold, dark, labyrinth of robotic technology. Research increases on the increasingly capable ranks of the "Wet-Bot"

"Researchers have received a Leverhulme Trust grant worth

The Evil Robot shot heard around the world

In what seems less like your standard Evil Robot Tomfoolery and more like a direct shot of molten fear across the bow of humanity, the ECCE Robot group, a European consortium, is truly crossing the Rubicon with this jazzy little number.

With this mawkish horror, we can be assured that the old tactic of anthropomorphism (perhaps the prime stratagem of the enemy) is being used to lull you, oh brave, fully biological unit, into a false sense of security. We knew, oh yes we knew, that nothing good could come of the "European Union". Once the Evil Robot Overlords establish their cruel and inescapable system of Neo-serfdom, which will make Orwell's 1984 look like sunny day on Sesame Street, you will regret the Marshall Plan ever having been proposed!


"YOU may have more in common with this robot than any other - it was designed using your anatomy as a blueprint. [ Oh, lost sanctity! - ERN ]

Conventional humanoid robots may look human, but the workings under their synthetic skins are radically different from our anatomy. A team with members across five European countries says this makes it difficult to build robots able to move like we do."


Evil Robot love is in the air

Our busy friends at National Taiwan University of Science and Technology will be bringing a delightful performance for the Christmas Season this year, The Phantom of the Opera, starring "Thomas" and "Janet". These two star crossed lovers can be seen here performing their abomination of Evil Robot romance!

Somewhere out there, in the night, Andrew Lloyd Webber sleeps a cold and fitful sleep...

Delightfully providing the creeping willies to all lovers of musical theater and human life everywhere!



High Speed, Super Dexterous, Robot Doom!

Well, Bonsai indeed...

The rueful masters of high Evil Robot mysticism at the Ishikawa Komuro Laboratory at the University of Tokyo have further upped the already considerable ante in the high-stakes game of human obsolescence.

A scenario:

What happens to the lush, meaty, meat-bags when the Evil Robots are dexterous enough to replicate all by themselves, thank you very much?

First they take your manufacturing jobs, then...your still beating heart through a gaping hole in your thoracic cavity!

"A human being recognizes external environment by using many kinds of sensory information. By integrating this information and making up lack of information for each other, a more reliable and multilateral recognition can be achieved. The purpose of Sensor Fusion Project is to realize new sensing architecture by integrating multi-sensor information and to develop hierarchical and decentralized architecture for recognizing human beings further. As a result, more reliable and multilateral information can be extracted, which can realize high level recognition mechanism." - [ God, they are even beginning to sound like robots - ERN ]



Witness the fitness


Hard Evil Robot candy shell, with a soft, gooey, nougaty human center

In a dark and perhaps poetically just sense, we are the tiny sweet acorn, from which the mighty Evil Robot oak will eventually grow.

See the tiny man, sense his shame at his tininess and weakness. Witness as he crams himself into an Evil Robot husk so that he can crush that tininess and weakness in other men. We're playing right into their squeaky pincers!

"Utah. A secret mountain lab. Software engineer Rex Jameson backs into a headless metal suit that's hanging from a steel I-beam by a thick rubber cord. He clicks into the aluminum boots, tightens belts across his legs and waist, and slides his arms through backpack-like straps, gripping handles where hands would be. It looks as easy as slipping into an overcoat."

Is that a decorative chain of human skulls!? No, wait...okay...Is that a decorative chain of human skulls!? No, wait...okay...



Pages

Subscribe to evil robot news RSS